“To gain your own voice, forget about having it heard.” ― Allen Ginsberg
“One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star.” – Friedrich Nietzsche
Hi – and welcome back. Trust you’ve been up to great things in the time it’s been? Today’s title is rather intuitive. Easily the most frequent question I’ve faced since I last penned something on here. It stares me in the face at every corner I turn. I thought I did a good job of running – but, clearly, hiding hasn’t worked out so well. So, let’s just face it.
PS – I have to warn you that this may read like a complete waste of time; the incoherent ramblings of a mentally obese literary has-been. Depending on your setup, it could also present as a sleep-inducing caricature. And, on another hand, you just might find it a commentary on recent happenings. Don’t hold me to it if you don’t see it. In the words of a ‘reputable businessman’, “si tu scis te scire”: if you know, you know. Continue reading
“So it’s true, when all is said and done, grief is the price we pay for love.” ~ E.A. Bucchianeri
“Maybe I was destined to forever fall in love with people I couldn’t have. Maybe there’s a whole assortment of impossible people waiting for me to find them. Waiting to make me feel the same impossibility over and over again.” ~ C. R. Brunt
Hi, Everyone. Been a while *_*. After about a year out, I’m rather eager to get to it.
So, I read this story on Twitter sometime ago. One of those tragic love ones, where one party leaves and the other is left forever stuck in a self-destructing whirlwind. It’s made me do quite a bit of thinking. I’ve been wondering how a human – hard as it is to know what we want in and for ourselves – can know what they want in others. About the fine line between love and hurt – and the endless battles between head and heart.
Long before it became common for partners to stab each other in the neck , I dreamt – many times during the same night – that it happened to me. Crazy – but much realer. My potential stabber was in a room only a few feet down the hall. I’ve had a few scary nights in my day, but that one ranks right up there with the worst – and for good reason. This was love gone bad – and the signs pointed to the very worst. Though it didn’t happen, I often wonder how we got it so wrong. How did something so beautiful turn out as toxic (in expectation or reality)? Was it A; was it B? Or was it the fact of A and B? Continue reading
“One day you’re the cock of the walk, the next you’re the feather duster.” – P. Morgan
Today, I watched my good friend get married. It was such a lovely occasion that I felt my molten heart pour out of my chest. The lighting was simply perfect: enchantingly colourful, yet mellow enough to set the mood. Add that to some celestial music and you got an atmosphere that milked the soul for all emotion. I looked on, spellbound, until it was time to read the story of time.
Per prevailing customs, it was time for the new bride to bid her parents farewell and proceed to the groom’s side of the hall (and, by symbolism, family). The bride was required to kneel in prayer before her mother. The act itself lasts no more than a couple of minutes; but it’ll feel like an eternity to the trained eye. And, for one laden with emotion, it may be best to look away. Such was the rush! Continue reading
“Until we’ve eaten our words, life doesn’t consider our diet balanced” ~ Imisi
Hi and welcome back to #DeMeStified. Please allow me to open with what was intended as the conclusion; this life is one greasy pot of beans. What we know, we know for now; the universe makes its own plans.
First, I have to ask which of these two you’d prefer to work with: the guy who says “I’ll feed you back in 5 minutes” or the one who says “I’ll get back to you soonest (or ‘shortly‘; in fact, throw in any of the many ways of keeping people off your back indefinitely)”. Picture it coming from your tailor, mailman or the sales rep taking your food order. Imagine being invited to an event that’s billed to end “as soon as possible” or having to sign a contract that requires you to “just do your best”.
Wing it as you may, it still wouldn’t fly. Humans crave assurances; we seek to know. Mistaking assertion for expertise, we easily muzzle reality to pick assertion over vagueness. This disposition raises the demand for assertion, which in turn hikes its going rate in the open market. Continue reading
I write you this not because any of it is alien or new or alien, but that it may be a lasting testament for you and yours. I admit that it’s the longer route; I’m usually more able with two chairs and a round-table. But I understand that as the music fades, butterflies hibernate and emotions begin to rise, this note may bode better than a flood of spoken word.
I must congratulate you on the occasion of your wedding. Fine gentleman you got yourself; your mom is both delighted and relived. If anything, she’s ‘rid’ of the competition and can now boldly parade herself as my undisputed ‘number 1’ again. She was extremely eager to lay claim to you in the days following your birth. You obviously had her eyes. But then, as time passed and your smile got more defined, fact and truth traded places. You and I were knit from the same yarn.
You’ve always been incredibly special to me, dear daughter. From the minute you were born to my coming to terms with ‘losing’ you to another man, you and I have enjoyed an inspired connection. Your mom and I have dreamt of this moment from long before we care to admit. We fantasized about the kind of man you would marry – and those thoughts flavoured our disposition to much of the male company you’ve kept over the years (even the ‘innocent’ classmates). Continue reading
“The first virtue in a soldier is endurance of fatigue; courage is only the second virtue” ~ Napoleon Bonaparte
“One plus one usually means two – but it can also mean everything” ~ Imisi
It’s the start of December; the end of another year. I thought I’d mark the completion of another project by now. There’s this silent tremor at the back of my mind – and it gets louder the harder I push. I fear it may be right in saying I’ve bitten off more than my mouth can hold. This new dimension could the black hole that slowly sucks the universe in; keeping me from applying myself to anything else.
My mind still traces a fence around its deepest worries as I sleep. I’d like to think it’s exactly as it was a year ago. A ton of wool weighs about the same as the ton of wood. But Maslow points to the devil is in a pile of dust. A battle of desire is clearly nothing like one for survival. How time blurs the mind’s eye. Continue reading
“Ideas: they have a mind of their own; still, they try to make your mind their own” – Imisi
Hi and welcome back to DeMeStified. Hope you’ve been up to great stuff in the time it’s been?
They say every good story begins with a damsel in distress. It’s true, but mostly in the movies. In fact, maybe only on Hollywood. For me, every good story – everything I consider of any worth along this journey – began with a stupid and flat-out laughable idea. It’s happened so many times I’ve come to embrace it – even right from the very beginning.
“I’m gonna get a degree”. “How??? Get serious while you’re at it”
“Let’s get married”. “That’s a joke, right? You know we’re from cultures that don’t get along.”
“We’re having another baby”. “For real? Are you having a laugh?”
“I’m going to explore writing”. “With your handwriting? Come on!!! Be fair to yourself”
“I’m leaving”. “At this critical phase? You can’t be serious. I wouldn’t if I were you. What if those plans don’t come together?”
“I’m gonna take that course?” “And do what with it? There’s no market for it here.”
“I’m gonna do this”. “Are you sure? Hmmmn. What’s to become of all your education?”